Conclusion of Blogging

Well, I have to admit, it was pretty freakin' hard. There were some days that I had no way to figure out what to write about. most days, it was about what had happened that day, or what was on my mind or what I was interested in at the time. I'm so excited to write about some things that were bugging me that day, but not all of that is on the blog. Most of the blogs I have written is about music, which shouldn't be that shocking to most people. I love music, and that was the main topic of most of the journals that I wrote. A lot of it was about concerts that I have been to, others were about family and what has happened in my life as thus far. Some were just crappy entries just so I can get it in. All in all, it was a good experience and I think it helped me understand the importance of 'writing for therapy'. Good job, Mrs. Anthony! :)

In conclusion, I also want to say one thing. I GOT A JOB AT THE CAMPBELL 16 MOVIE THEATER!!! The job I have been wanting since I was 16 years old! I'm so excited about it that I quit Taco Bell yesterday. Now I get to really work at a job I have been wanting and I'm so happy about it you have no idea. Yesterday was one of the best days I have had in weeks. YAY!

The Process of Making a PB and J

In my kitchen. :)

Going into the green cabinet on the right side of the stove, I pull out the container of Peter Pan peanut butter. Setting it on the counter, I go slightly right to my white refridgerator and pull out the grape jelly from the second shelf on the door. Pulling that out, I set it on the counter. Then, I go to the other side fo the stove and pull open the top green drawer and get a butter knife and bring it back over to my supplies. I don't have to walk much farther to the bread loaf since its pretty much already there. On my right side, the bread is stashed against the corner of the counter and against the refridgerator. I pull that open and pull out two pieces of bread and I first put the peanut butter on for a solid coating. Then, I take the jelly since it is a little bit more 'piecey' and it doesn't spread as well as the peanut butter does. I then close the bread and I eat it. :)

Favorite Food Dish

My favorite favorite food dish I have ever had, although it is not really a 'delicacy' or anything of the sort, I am IN LOVE with macaroni and cheese. It is absolutely crazy how much I eat that stuff. I think I eat it every time I get the chance. Even on cruise ships, when I was like 10 all of the way up till I was 16, I wouldn't eat the Caribbean foods that they were serving, I would get the macaroni and cheese. The Disney Cruise Line has the best macaroni and cheese I have ever had in my life. It is so amazing. I can't describe it. I wish I could have it again. Even Velveeta isn't that great! Although, Velveeta cheese and shells come next in line for me. Kraft doesn't make very good macaroni. It's kind of powdery and dry. Ever since I was little, I would have macaroni and cheese all of the time. But then again, I love a lot of things with cheese on it. That includes: burgers, broccoli, macaroni, crackers, nachos, tacos, anything. I LOVE CHEESE. That's the bottom line out of all of this. It is hilarious how much my parents just laugh at how much cheese I eat. It's like it's a complete mystery to them. But I love milk too, so that could probably be the reason there. I love a lot of dairy products in itself, but macaroni and cheese is the best. I LOVE PASTA. But pasta with cheese on it? Heaven in a bowl. :)

Macaroni and cheese doesn't take a rocket scientist to make. Fill a pot about three quarters of the way full and place it on the stove. Put it on high heat, and let it sit there until you see bubbles start to coat the bottom and rise up. When it starts doing that in a rapid pace, that is when you tear open the box (and take out the package) and pour the contents into the pot. Don't walk away from it! It may start foaming and bubbling over. Stand there and stir every two or three minutes until you feel as though the macaroni has softened enough and it is starting to thicken in the pot. That should take about fifteen to twenty minutes of doing so, maybe even longer, depending on how hot you have dared to make the stove. Then, you grab a strainer and pour the hot water and the macaroni into the strainer and tip it from side to side, draining the water out of it. After that is completed, pour the contents back into the pot. Now, depending on if you want the macaroni to have a bit of cheese juice, pour a little bit of milk in it enough to coat the bottom, or maybe more depending on how much you want. Then, you pour in the cheese and stir until it is thickened and coating all of the noodles. Then, dig in!

All I Know

Well, having my family down was quite interesting to say the least. I'm glad they are gone at this point, even though I really did miss them. I just realized how insane they were when they all came down here. I also found out that now that my cousin is now at the age, she thinks she knows everything. She has to point out the obvious and its cutely annoying. Oh well. This week hasn't been the greatest. Yesterday, I found out I had to work. I drove about 35 minutes to get to Strafford to get to my place of employment, only to find out they had no idea that I didn't have a shirt or anything, and they sent me home after telling me if I had worked that night, i would have had 45 hours worth of pay. THAT'S TWICE AS MANY HOURS AS I WANTED. So, apparently, their management got screwed up and didn't know how many hours I wanted. Oh well, it's okay. After I finish out this week, I'm going down to three or four days a week until the summer. Finals come first. I work tonight though, until eleven on line. I'm kind of excited, but I'm nervous since its supposed to rain all day until about nine or ten at night. Hopefully it remains that way and we aren't busy hardly at all and I can go home early, even though I have no school anyway. That will be amazing. But I need the practice on line making the food and what not. For all I know, we could be hella busy and my arms will fall off. I don't know. But my main concern tonight is driving on dark, wet roads in the middle of the night from Strafford to Fordland. I'm f***ing terrified!

Hopefully, everything will be okay. Even after that, I need some hope in my life.

Family

So, my family is coming down. My grandpa got to my house on Wednesday and it was quite interesting that I finally got to see him again. Now, tonight after school and work, my grandma, my aunt, and my three cousins are making their way to Springfield from St. Louis.

Can I say, YAY?!

I can't wait to see my family after so long and I'm so thrilled to see them. Darric, Danielle, and Darian are amazing cousins to me and I miss them so much. Danielle won regional cheerleading championships in Oklahoma City the other week and it was such an accomplishment for her. She's part of the best cheerleading squad in the Midwest! Darric, however, is still having about the same luck I am. He's pretty much stagnant in his life right now, and I can't wait for him to come down and spend time with me so I can actually show him a good time in Springfield. I'm so excited to see him. He's one of my best friends and I miss him so much. We were so close as kids, and we are only six months apart (me being the oldest). So, when I still lived in St. Louis, we were so close as kids. I miss having that quality time with Darric and Danielle. Darian, she's only five so she kind of annoys me a little lol. But I still love her to pieces. She's a sweetheart and doesn't bother me as much as Meadow does.

It's gonna be a fun weekend. :)

The 'What is a Place' Essay

Even though I whipped up that essay in about fifteen minutes, I really hope that it provided a sense of longing that I wanted to really project since I did my small brainstorming session before I wrote it. I wanted to make people understand how desperate I was to get back home, and away from all of these haunts that we have here in Springfield, where my mom got her tumor, where she got her pay docked, and everything got so much harder. I hope that it projected a lot of emotion into it and people understands what it is like to miss home. I'm sure that the reader will ahve some kind of relation to that but its very significant to me none the less. I miss the city life, even though I'm so close to Springfield. I live in the boonies of Springfield though. It's so hard to 'live' in the city when you LIVE in the boonies. I'm in Springfield most of the time though, but it still doesn't feel like home since I don't technically live in Springfield. I miss St. Louis so much, and I miss the crowdedness of it even though my parents definitely don't. St. Peters was technically my hometown, and I was born in Wentzville, but I moved out of Wentzville before I could remember so that was never home to me. St. Peters was, the suburbs of St. Louis. I miss it more than I can ever express to anyone, but even with that longing to go home, I want to call someplace else my home. Anywhere besides St. Louis, isn't it. I want to be able to call California my home one day, somewhere in SoCal or something. I don't know, I just hope life gets a little better for me.

The Taste of Ink

Well, there's nothing better than a writing prompt based off of the meaning of a song. The song is called "The Taste of Ink" by the Used. Here is a video for the song if you wish to see what it is about, but then I will write about it after the video has been displayed:



This song is about breaking away from the place you know, and getting sick of it, dying to get out of the same boring town you were raised in and desperate to get out and do more with yourself. This is what the song was about when the Used wrote this in Orem, Utah. I feel like that right now. I'm getting sick of the same old thing every day any day. I'm wanting to get out of Missouri in general and get a life started in the music business as a producer or manager, hell even a sound mixer. It doesn't matter. I need to get out of this state before I freakin' suffocate. I know some people must love this state but I hate the weather, and I hate the boringness of it. THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS STATE. I hate it so freakin' much it kills me. I can't wait to move out to one of the coasts or where ever the job takes me. Hopefully its not moving to the midwest. I hate it here. I'd prefer to move to one of the coasts, since I don't like most northern, and I don't like the Midewest, nor do I like Southern states. I love California, Massachusetts, or Washington. Mostly California. I'd love to live in Huntington Beach or somewhere in SoCal.

I can't wait. :)

Why Is Stan Lee Such a Genius?

Because Stan Lee is Stan Lee.

Stan Lee is the guy who created the Marvel comics. My Dad has been into comics his entire life, mostly Marvel, and so going through my life since 1991, he has also introduced me to the world of superheroes. I got into this topic because a friend and I were talking about it. X Men Origins is coming out on May 1st, and I'm excited for it. The origins of Wolverine and the previews look amazing, staring Deadpool and Gambit and Sabretooth along with everyone else. I'm thrilled to see this movie, and hopefully I get a job at the Campbell 16 before this that way I can take my dad to see it for free. ^_^ It'll be a good day if that happens. I only have a week or so until then so hopefully I get a call back after my interview tomorrow with them. I also discovered that they have a script for X Men Origins: Magneto. It's not Green Lit yet but I hope they do. It'll be interesting considering that Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch are Magneto's kids. SWEET!

Anyway, I'm gonna quit being a nerd now and go to bed.

Fun Smartie Class Thesis Statement

Smarties have a better value than chocolate in the way that they have essential vitamins, less sugar in a serving, and they have less calories in two rolls than in just one piece of chocolate.
With essential vitamins, it is a better Halloween candy or an every day candy for kids to eat. While kids are all hogwild over candy, that could be an incentive to have parents give Smarties to their kids rather than chocolate. It has all of those vitamins for their child, as well as less sugar intake. So, the hyperactivity may end up going down for the parental benefit! It is an awesome way to think that with that delicious tasting Smartie package, their child may not be boucning off the walls and annoying during the day and causing trouble, right? Another good thing, mostly when it comes to teenage candy intake and for adults, smarties have less calories in two rolls, which adds up to 50 calories, in just one piece of Hershey piece of candy. 25 calories per roll, that’s pretty good considering how many pieces of candy are in just one package. Think about that whenever you are getting a good sweet tooth during your diet. It won’t make you gain love handles like chocolate will if you overdo it. You can overdo your Smartie intake and still only have only taken in 500 calories!

Musical Conversation With Dad

So, Dad was watching Oprah last night and saw a bunch of country musicians on there. Yeah, I know, he does watch Oprah but whatever. I walked in on the very end of it to see Sugarland playing. Honestly, I hate them, and most country music. The only two other people they had on that show last night was Carrie Underwood and Kenny Chesney. They are good, but not my favorite, obviously. That's not what attracts me the most about music. So, Dad and I started to about the music and what not and how it had evolved since the sixties and seventies. Really, what started off the making of rock n' roll was Elvis Presley. That can't be denied, not by a long shot. He started to talk about what kind of options his generation has with music, especially during the eighties and ninties. I was very interested when he started to praise Kurt Cobain for being pretty much a godfather to a new generation of music. Nirvana pretty much greated the grunge genre out of Washington and that was amazing. He also started to talk about there was rap music that pretty much made everyone like him and my mom go to country music. There was a sharp divide in musical interest starting in the 80's because of hair bands, metal, the emergence of rap and so on and so forth. I was so happy to have a conversation like that with my Dad. That is the reason why I love music so much. There are so many good topics regarding it and a different genres. Dad was even talking about how there has only really been one band that had a gimmick and has survived for as long as they have, and that band was KISS. I couldn't deny that, but there have been so few bands that have survived since the 90's. One of those bands was Green Day, and they are still making music. That is awesome.

And also, which is a relief to me, I'm starting to see a decline in rap music since now that time has finally become so repetitive. I'm looking forward to a resurgance of hard rock and metal music like it was when Motley Crue, Guns n' Roses and all of those awesome 80's hair bands had their time and so on. It's going to be a great day when that finally happens. Hopefully it comes at the turn of the decade in 2010.

What Am I Passionate About?

Several times I have spoken about what I am passionate about. Most of the time, my passion is music. Although, I do have other things that I am passionate about. For example, writing. I love writing and I love books. I love to have that escape from life that cannot be accomplished by anything else. The book that has done the most for me so far has been the Twilight saga. I love the story of Edward and Bella, but also the side stories of Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle. I'm interested in that kind of stuff and it drives me insane when I don't get to do it. In fact, I haven't put my nose in a book in a while. I'm actually thinking about re-reading the entire Twilight saga again before New Moon comes out in November. That should be a challenge. I'll probably have time to read it four times over. I've already read Twilight I think four times already anyway. I've read the book "Eragon" by Christopher Paolini seven times due to boredom and quite a bit of obsession involved.

Anyway, back to music. It is definitely something that I am passionate about, because it has been there throughout my childhood. I don't remember a day in my life where some kind of music has been played. As a toddler, I would dance to Michael Jackson and Steve Warner, and I would stand in front of the television as MTV or CMT played on the screen. I have lived through it my entire life and it is something that has grown on me and saved me several times in my young life. I may be 18 years old, but throughout those eighteen years I have been exposed to so much creativity and compassion through lyrics. My interests have grown, shrank, and expanded several times. That is why I am going into the music industry, and trying to make a living there as part of the business part of it regarding management and producing, hell, even sound mixing or something along those lines.

For books, there are no words to describe how much books mean to me. I have been around those my entire life as well because my dad has always had a passion for writing children's books. He has attempted to write serious adult books but he hasn't been that type of person. He has the childish, playful side about him and he wants to go to that to get away from the adult problems he faces now. So, as a kid, he always read to me those books that he has written and I have always enjoyed them and dug them out to read them again when he wasn't looking. He has even asked me to co-write with him sometimes. I, personally, am trying to write my own story but because of everything going on, it is really hard to concentrate on it. So, for now, I dig into a book if I can. Like I said before, I'm going to be trying to re-read the Twilight saga and watch the movie and what not to get that 'obsession' back up again. I'm really excited for New Moon in November and Eclipse next June. There are no words to describe how much these two things mean to me.

The Heroin Diaries

No, I'm not on drugs.

I just wanted to talk about a book called "The Heroin Diaries" by Nikki Sixx, the bassist of Motley Crue. I haven't read it all, but what I did read was astonishing. I had heard about it because of the band Sixx A.M. was actually a band that made a soundtrack to this book. So, while up at Barnes and Noble one day, I looked for it on the back shelf next to the CDs, and I found it. The cover was very, well, I don't want to say disgusting, but more along the lines of elaborate. I turned the front page of it and saw some quotes. One of it was a lyric from one of Alice Cooper's songs. It said "Welcome to my f***ing life."

The Heroin Diaries is about Nikki Sixx's actual diaries that he kept during the late 80's when Motley Crue was really hitting it big. Either sober or inebriated, Nikki Sixx kept dairies to document what he went through. I think it started on Christmas Day of 1986. What I read was astonishing and almost disturbing, but I couldn't put it down. Nikki Sixx called it the life of a shattered rockstar. He definitely wasn't lying about that. Even in one part, he called his high self "Sikki". It was as if he were describing an alter ego, and it sent chills up and down my arms.

When reading this, I was glad that he turned his life around and now anybody who buys the book, a certain percentage of the income go to a charity that helps homeless children. After all of that, Nikki turned his life around for the better. His story was one of the reasons why I am a straightedger. I refuse to let myself and my friends end up that way. It may be their choice, but I want to someone be the detour that helps them make a better decision for themselves so they don't mess up later in life. That's what friends are for, right? I don't want to see my friends go somewhere where they shouldn't be. Being straightedge may get me a lot of stares and curious questions but that doesn't demean what I believe in. Sure, a lot of successful bands are alcoholics and drug abusers, but I think that it only progresses as they gain success, not beforehand. They may have STARTED doing it before they were a band but it gradually gets worse from stress and fame and money. That doesn't mean that if you drink and do drugs you'll get famous. Most of those people who do end up dying or becoming poor because they spend most of their earnings on beer and drugs. I'm not saying everyone, just people who get so deep into it where they can't resurface again.

Nikki Sixx's Heroin Diaries really did back up my beliefs in straightedge. I'm proud to be one and anyone can kiss my ass if they want to condemn me for it or make fun of me. I know I'm making the right choice. I want to keep my body healthy and my mind clear. I want to be able to be sober every day and live the life I was meant to have. I can feel physical pain when I fall, I can feel heartache when something bad happens, and I can also feel happy and excited whenever something great happens. I don't want to be drunk or high to experience a good time. I won't remember it anyway even if I did.

I want to remember every single day, even if it kills me.

The Nerd In Me Has Resurfaced

Okay, so, Dragonball Evolution came out today. During math class today my cousin Darric called me while I was in class and wanted to talk about it. Apparently, he saw it today. He told me that it was short but it was awesome. When we were kids, Darric and I used to love Dragonball Z. If nobody knows what that is, it is a Japanese cartoon that was very popular almost a decade ago. It was a long running series on Cartoon Network about aliens and what not and it had flying stuff and horrible fights and what not. So,they made a live action movie and I'm going to be going to see it with my dad tomorrow morning. I'm excited for it and really ready to relive my childhood again. I kind of miss the days where I loved the cartoons and what not and I really like to sit there and think back to those episodes. I want to see where they went wrong and right. My dad still does that, even with the things he had long stopped liking but still goes just to see what he liked in his childhood. Sometimes, he even gets the feeling back. I want to see what that's like, now that I'm older.

Kansas City Rockfest '09

Yes, I have a new event that I have yet to look forward to.

So, I found out the other day that Rockfest was at Kansas City on May 30th, and there are TONS of bands that are going to be there, including my current obsession "Rev Theory". Unfortunately, Buckcherry will be there, but they can be avoided since there are two stages. On Second Stage will be:

Drowning Pool
Loaded
Dope
The Parlor Mob
The Veer Union
Burn Halo
Crooked X
Federation of Horsepower

On Main Stage is:

Korn
Buckcherry
Shinedown
Corey Taylor
Theory of a Deadman
Saving Abel
Rev Theory

Out of all of these bands, I want to see:

Burn Halo
Drowning Pool
Korn
Shinedown
Theory of a Deadman
Saving Abel
Rev Theory

So that is SEVEN bands that are going to be there that I would love to get to see. I have already seen Drowning Pool, Shinedown, Saving Abel, and Rev Theory, but I would DEFINITELY go to see them again. I'm so excited about this that I am FREAKING out and getting ready to buy the ticket so I can be down in the pit if there is one. Burn Halo will be exciting since the lead singer is James Hart, the ex-front man of the very successful straightedge band Eighteen Visions. Synyster Gates also played in two of their songs. I'm so excited, and I'll be calculating the days until then!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hell Yeah!

Alright, so, this post is going to be about the opening band of the concert I went to on my birthday. They are called "Rev Theory". I had never heard of them before and I honestly thought that Saving Abel was going to be the opening band like they were last time in St. Louis when Rachael and I went there to see them. So, we were shocked to find this out that it was actually Rev Theory. When they played, I didn't know any of their lyrics, but their stage presence was amazing enough to where they got me holding up the rock on sign and dancing a little. I loved them afterward. Another perk of the performance was that the front man was absolutely gorgeous! I didn't know his name but they were offering their CD for 10 bucks and a signing after the show. I didn't go or buy the album but I will be soon. I later found out that they had to songs called "Hell Yeah" and "Light It Up" for the WWE RAW wrestling thing. So it was pretty cool that they were getting some recognition for that. I went onto YouTube after I got back from Topeka and I looked up their music videos. Absolutely awesome! And I found that the hot guy's name is Rich Luzzi. So, I'm completely and direly obsessed with them and I have them on repeat. :)

Oh, and I found out that I am going to Pointfest in St. Louis and Rockfest in Kansas City in late May. I'm excited. Rachael might be going to one of them.

Birthday Concert Review

Alright, this is going to be one really long blog post so I suggest you buckle up.

Alright, so I started off that beautiful Saturday morning as an 18 year old. I woke up at 6:45 in the morning but laid in bed until about 7. I got up and I practically flew through getting ready. I was so excited and Rachael was texting me all morning. I put my bangs up on the top of my head and straightened the rest of my hair, and I put my dark pinkish red eyeshadow on with thick black eyeliner. I wore my black Avenged Sevenfold shirt that had the deathbats on it that looked like the band, my pinstripe Hurley shorts with black tights underneath it with my Chuck Taylors. I was pretty much freakin' awesome looking that day.

My mom and I left for Topeka at 9:15 in the morning, and Rachael left with her mom about forty five minutes earlier than we did. We travelled for four hours, which was a little bit earlier than what she had planned. My aunt Jamie and my cousin Meadow came down from Kansas City to spend the night with my mom so she wouldn't get lonely or anything. We came through to Topeka, and it was really warm but it was also windy so it had a bit of a cold chill on it. Rachael and I had our posters with us. Mine said "Touch me! I'm 18 today!" and Rachael's said "I love Guitar Guys". We met some awesome people in the line too. We met a guy named Jesse, and two girls named Amanda and Amber. They were pretty kick ass.

When we got inside, it had just started raining so we had avoided the thunderstorms. Rachael and I managed to get next to the stage again with one row of people in front of us. I had managed to get in front of a really tall guy. Amanda, Amber, and Jesse were right next to us so it was an awesome little party going on. We had thought that Saving Abel was going to be at the concert, but it turned out that they weren't there. They were replaced by the band Rev Theory as the concert opener. They were really good and I saw the frontman, and I thought he was absolutely GORGEOUS. So, I knew I was going to be looking him, and his music up as soon as I got home (and I did).

The second act was one of my ultimate favorite bands, Papa Roach. Here is where it gets VERY interesting. They came out doing Days of War, and followed by Change or Die. Of course, Jacoby was absolutely hot in his vest and what not. Tobin was pretty sexy too as well as Jerry. Tony is just ugly all around. So, here is where it gets awesome. After "Change or Die" they did "Between Angels and Insects", and in the middle of his verse, Jacoby came over to our side of the stage and that is where I held my sign up for him. I saw him read it, and after he finished his verse, he screamed into the microphone: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!". I nearly fainted.

In the same act, toward the end, Jacoby came down off of the stage as he was singing "Scars" and got up right next to the barricade where I was. So, I dove over a few people and managed to grab a hold of his vest, AND run my hand over his arm. I freaked out. I touched the man that created this beautiful music and saved my life. I was thrilled. His arm was sweaty, but that was okay.

So, after Papa Roach came Buckcherry. Something I didn't mention before, I ABSOLUTELY HATE BUCKCHERRY. HATE THEM. And the most ironic thing happened. I discovered in line as some girls were coming through with a gigantic poster board that had "Happy Birthday Josh Todd" on it. I knew that something was wrong here. Josh Todd is the lead singer of Buckcherry, and he shares the same birthday as me. I was so pissed.

Anyway, Buckcherry came onto the stage and we nearly got crushed. Amanda got elbowed in the face and in the lower back and she ended up starting to cry. Some drunk guy also came up and started grinding on Amber. We all got mad and we got him kicked out of the place. It was satisfactory. Then, some drunk girl next to me kept screaming that I should help her punch some pregnant lady in the face. I just ignored her and let her go on her rambling. Her three hundred pound husband was squishing us in there too and it drove me up the wall. Buckcherry still sucked though, and that was one of the worst things that I have ever been living through. I was squished and couldn't move, and I was spending the majority of the time elbowing people and yelling at some douchebags.

So, after Buckcherry got off the stage, the crowd let up a little and some people had to leave the crowd because it was getting suffocating. Rachael and I suffered through it. Finally, our men were coming on the stage. Now here is another interesting part. As they came on the stage doing "Critical Acclaim" I lost my mind. Rachael and I were jumping up and down, screaming and doing our thing. We were right in front of Synyster Gates again, and we noticed he was quite a happy man for a Kansas concert. We later discovered that he was "frankly drunk". He said that later on before his solo. After 'Critical Acclaim', they did 'Afterlife'. During that set, I held up my sign once again once Synyster was back at his microphone. Once I held it up, I saw him squint to read it and he started to laugh. I freaked out again since he noticed it and thought it was funny. It's amazing what feelings course through your body as a fangirl.

Later on during the intermission of one of the songs as M. Shadows was getting ready to talk again, I held up my sign AGAIN. I wanted to get words out of all of my favorite guys, and Shadows was last on my list. HE READ IT. Then, since the crowd was going a little nuts, I didn't hear what he said. I saw his lips move and he laughed at it as well. Amanda and Rachael had grabbed me and started to shake me, telling me that he said something to me. I asked what it was, and they said that Shadows said "That's cute". I lost my mind.

Then, during "Beast and the Harlot", Rachael was scared about throwing a bra that we had bought from Walmart on stage. We spent eight bucks on a bra that we were going to throw on stage. So, I grabbed it from her and I chucked it on the stage. After the song was over, we saw Johnny Christ, the bassist, come over, pick up our bra and hang it on Syn's mic stand. The crowd started cheering and I was freaking out with Rachael. Then, Syn came over, took it off and threw it at a roadie. It was a good five second exciting moment. Also, during a song, Rachael held up her sign, and Syn smiled, pointed at her, and said "Thank you". She nearly fainted too. LOL

Since Synyster was drunk, he ended up knocking over his and Zacky's mic stand. Shadows started to make fun of him a little and it was quite funny. We also discovered, thanks to M. Shadows broadcasting it to the crowd, that a bunch of girls flashed the bassist. That was hilarious. At the end of the set though, Syn came over to our side of the stage, kncoking down things along the way and started chucking out the picks. I loved it, and we managed to get a picture of Jason Berry, one of the infamous roadies of Avenged Sevenfold, taking down Rev's drumset. Before we left, we also saw a gigantic stand that had bras and panties just piled onto it. It was funny, and we managed to get pictures of it.

We exchanged numbers with Amanda and Amber, and we left back to the hotel.

It was an unforgetable 18th birthday. :)

About February 17th, 2009

Here is another Avenged Sevenfold video for you. This time, it is their song "Critical Acclaim", live and made by some other girl that was at the concert. In fact, this was the concert I was at. I was on the other side of the stage three rows back. This was at the Family Arena in St. Louis. It's just amazing that nearly two months later, I am back again to see them again. I won't be modest when I say I am completely dedicated to this band. These guys are my heroes. And right there, M. Shadows, the lead singer, had suffered from food poisoning the night before and was hospitalized. He had to get three IV's put through him and it was a bad ordeal. We weren't thinking he would make it to St. Louis AGAIN (since they canceled on us as well during Pointfest in September). But no, they made it that day and I am so happy. I had seen them once before In Kansas City, then in St. Louis, and now in Topeka. I'm excited about tomorrow, more than anyoen can imagine. Things have been rocky lately and I'm in need for some serious thrashing and screaming out the lyrics that mean the most to me. These guys are definitely my heroes. It's like my birthday party with hundreds of other people with A7X as the main event. I just hope that Buckcherry isn't freakin' playing last as the main event. That would suck for me and Rachael, since we hate them since the Family Arena concert. They suck live. I don't care what people say, but they are just good for recording CD's, not live concerts. I was even apart of the group that started chanting for Avenged Sevenfold during Buckcherry's set! That's how bad they were, indeed. I'm more than excited. I'm representin' my boys today, so I'm definitely going to kick it as a Friday, and get ready for nearly a five hour road trip starting at 9:30 in the morning on my 18th birthday.

That's all for now. Chow.

Tomorrow. Finally. :)

A Bit of Hope Left In Me

Well, today didn't go as bad, but I did slip and fall on my butt at work today. It was kind of stressful since I had to stay about thirty minutes late. It was okay though. I almost ended up crying because I was in so much distress and pain at the end of my shift. Things were very wild but it went by really fast for some reason. I don't know why. It was a miserable morning and afternoon, but later in the night it did get awfully better, and I'm excited about that. Rachael came and ate lunch with me on my break, and I'm really glad to have a friend like her. Both of us are excited for Topeka, and we can't wait. Things will look up for me, I know it, especially when I have family and friends like this. It was just a really rocky yesterday and I'm glad its over. There were no tears today as far as I know and that's good. Just almost frustrated tears, mostly. *laughs* So, tomorrow is going to be a good day. A pizza party in my music class, a nice, flowey day in Composition, I hope, and Math class is just about survival of boredom. No computer class tomorrow, YAY! So I get a two and a half hour break after Composition, which is cool. The only thing bad about tomorrow is me getting up once again at six in the morning, and after school, having to go grocery shopping.

Ew.

2 days. :)

Life Never Seems To Get Better

What the hell is life, exactly? When does grace ever befall my family? Hardly ever. It's been tragedy after tragedy, mishap after mishap, and bad news after bad news for what seems like a half a year already. My mom's pay got docked 33% today, which means, we can barely pay our bills. My dad has to find a full time job to pay the rest of the expenses that we have. Is this God's little playground? I feel like I've been betrayed, and my family is being betrayed? I'm doubting everything right now. I feel like a Barbie Doll, just being moved around to fit some sort of sick storyline that everyone wants to hear about on the local news. My mom's job has been cut due to financial reasons of her company. Both of them have cried today, and in secret, my heart broke. I'm putting on this plastic smile that they seem to be buying only half of the time. It just happened today, around 2:00 in the afternoon to be exact. Nothing is really looking up for me right now. I will be 18 in three days. But what difference will that make? My family is still going to have to pay their bills with a shorter income rate. My job will still be there, and still continue to suck. I will still be in school, trying to achieve my dream job that probably won't even get me anywhere. I'm living on false hope right now. I don't have anyone to depend on when things get rough. Sure, I have Rachael, but she's got her own problems to really give two shits about what's going on with me.

Earth is Hell. I'm lost in my own little world and I'm stuck in God's playground, it seems like. Sorry for the religious people who are reading this, but that's how I feel. I feel like my brain is being torn apart, and my heart is being just ripped out of my chest because I am feeling numb all over. I don't have a lot of people to depend on, and seek shelter in a hug. I need warm happiness, not this cold, dark, empty hole that my family has been thrown into.

I'm angry, depressed, and absolutely miserable.

I don't have much excitement, when I say its three days until my birthday, and my concert.